deadlynova

So, among a few random shots around the house, I took Kate and my new MNF Shushu (*squee!*) Kai (short for Coyote) for a winter walk in the park. It was effing cold.
But I'm in love with my Kai! I just got her Friday with the rest of the money I got for selling my Soony. The a-line MNF body is a dream to pose, liek zomg. But she's so small compared to the other two, even the Bobobbie/Resinsoul! I love her anyway. *hugs*

( Clickee under hur for Luca, Dakota, Eileen, Kate, Kai, and Nell )

• 14:30 I've decided... that even though I like hanging out with you, I'll stop doing that... until I straighten out my feelings. #
• 22:43 I'm going to see if tomorrow I'm able to go to Punggol beach. I haven't been there before :x #
• 23:29 This isn't the way I want to spend tomorrow... I'm feeling a little light-headed and feverish. Get well soon, Rui! #

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I now know what it's like to be really all alone.

Mom had something on over at Grandma's so she went out during the wee hours of morning, and won't return till late. Dad and bro have a wedding dinner to attend, so they won't return till really late either.

So I have the whole empty shell of a house all to myself. When I woke up this morning I was all alone. The first and perhaps the last person I talk to today is Bakaboi; it seems like the norm for him to say silly things to me when I get online. I'm not complaining though. If it weren't for him I would be talking to myself.

Mid-afternoon, and I wonder what it would feel like if I logged out of MSN and quietly play a game, so I logged out of the Internet. It wasn't the nicest feeling. But then again, lately, apart from Bakaboi, no one else seems to be interested in talking to me. What's the use of being on MSN 24/7, then?

I stop playing the game and take a nice nap. At 8PM I wake up and I am all alone. Still.

It is excruciating; to be so alone and everyone else is outside conversing with some other people. Yet I'm here and can only pour my feelings out on a virtual journal. For people not in the know, they must think life sucks for me.

Yet, I myself think the same.

Life does suck. The guy I like is continuously saying things that are neither left nor right; family members who just snort when I talk; people whom I call friends have seemed to lost contact with me.

I was afraid to head out and smell the flowers today. I was afraid I would feel the kind of loneliness that one would feel when he sees people all huddled together, in groups, in pairs, smiling, laughing, making merry... and this person is just one. By himself. Walking the crowded streets of Singapore. Witnessing lovebirds who sing and profess their love so openly. Watching as groups of girls and boys play, oblivious to their surroundings.

Indeed, Rui is all alone. No friends, no lover, no one to seek company of.

Please wait while I slink back to bed and wallow in self-pity.

• 11:34 3D fractals are amazing. Too bad I suck at Math. #
• 14:32 Today the weather is a little chilly. #
• 15:33 ♪ If the shoe fits, wear it~ ♫ #

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...probably. She always knows what I'm feeling when I talk to her.

Last night, over dinner...

Mom: You know, NSFs* don't have Christmas Eve off. They're only off on the 25th.
Rui: Gee, that sounds tough, but... why are you telling me this?
Mom: *slowly smiles, then winks*
Rui: ...

Mom is forever messing with me when it comes to relationships. Remember when I dated Wei, she gave him a nickname and made fun of me all year long. Coincidentally, back then Wei was also an NSF...
...Mom is pretty sharp, I realise.

Right. Since now I have a bunch of friends who are serving National Service right now (and won't ORD for another year or so), she can make fun of me and then I'd just ask, which one? I'll retaliate her attacks.

* NSF = full-time National Serviceman

• 15:44 I had a dream. I dreamt that Maple Story was 3D! It was kind of similar to RO2, though. #
• 16:44 I lost The Game. Wikipedia is evil, I tell ya. #
• 16:56 Anyone tried using Nvu to make webpages? #
• 01:10 I have a mouth full of ulcers. I also bit my tongue while eating just now. #
• 01:13 I know good things come in pairs, but loot drops from boss monsters come in multiples of 2 too?! Too good to be true. #

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Long overdue summary of Saturday ;(

Anyway, Chrissie, Chris and Cla (kaoko, dementedchris and cgines respectively, as we all know from Flickr) came to Singapore last week, and the Singaporean bunch of us had a small gathering for them. We went to Sentosa on Saturday :D

So the three of them came greeting us with goodie bags :O and each of them came with bag tags; mine was a picture of Cayenne ♥ AND AND AND~ Thank you Chrissie for the polvoron! I can never thank you enough. I love the cookies n' cream flavour! My brother loves the pili flavour, he's almost finished all of it xD And the mango tamarind snack! You have no idea how expensive that is here. Every time either of you guys come to Singapore, you give us snacks that are godsend. Perhaps you can read my mind xD xD

We were mainly shooting our dolls at the water feature below the Merlion. The mosiac that adorns the water feature makes for a great background! So we were all huddled over our dolls, shooting, and some tourists came by and asked about them. One Indian lady wanted to get one Pullip for her daughter, who's barely thirteen, and Chin and I were like, "Uh. Hope she takes good care of her belongings."

End of the day, we split up, and the rest of us went for dinner. I told them I wasn't going to join them, since I was a little hard up on money, and Bakaboi and I had plans. "In fact, he's waiting for me at Vivocity as we speak," I said, and Chin commented, "Awww, poor thing." xD

So I went off to find that poor guy, and we went to City Square Mall to have dinner. At Burger King.

Whoa, my shortest summary yet. That's it and good night 8O

• 13:33 IDK but SD Bianka looks freaking weird to me. Actually, all Volks dolls do, except the boys and Kun and Four Sisters. *is biased* #
• 14:31 I was going to take photos of stuff and IT LOOKS LIKE IT'S GONNA RAIN AND I AM, ONCE AGAIN, WITHOUT A THING TO DO. #
• 00:52 As expected, late night showers are awesome. #
• 01:05 So, lysfenomen = light phenomenon. Google Translate Norwegian phail. #

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So while randomly surfing through Flickr and profile pages, I found this:

Hi im 15 and i currently live in Singapore but im Korean BUT i was born in Niigata (Japan). My family moved here when i was younger because of my father's buisness ( i was also born in Niigata because of my father's buisness :P) . i kinda hate it here its so... boring *^^*

So, to this Singapore-dwelling Korean-Japanese, why don't you GO BACK TO JAPAN?
I hope your grandma or aunts or uncles are still in Korea or Japan because then you can stay with them, and hopefully get yourself out of this boring hell hole called Singapore. GTFO my island!

Also, isn't Niigata an equally boring place to live? >_>;; I don't know how I can live with rice paddies and wooden houses *roll eyes*

Seriously. I hate foreigners who come to Singapore and then say they hate it here. Why are you even here? Why can't you go back to wherever you were from, if you hate it here? I don't understand it. It's not like your whole extended family moved to Singapore, is it? If I hate a place so much I would live with a relative in my own country.

Also, don't display your hate for Singapore so openly. You'll get flamed by patriotic people like me openly too.

Whoo! #200 next week, and a bonus comic December 28!


KimonosTownhouse.com

• 13:46 I want to play the sims, but I always fall asleep while waiting for it to load. #
• 14:24 Nonono... if Yamapi or MatsuJun is Kazehaya in Kimi no Todoke live action, I would... not watch it. #
• 23:41 Just a photo of my doll, whose new wig arrived in the mail just now :) dailybooth.com/u/19vt3 #

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• 00:54 One week and half till Christmas... FUCK IT. This year will be the same as the last; lonely, cold, miserable. #

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• 13:54 Right. Damn squall ruined the laundry. #
• 18:24 My inner fangirl just went "kyaaa!" while reading a manga...??!!!! #
• 20:14 OH OH OH~ SUTEKI~! wiki.d-addicts.com/Otomen #
• 21:51 Just found out Otomen = 粉紅系男孩. D'oh! Anyone has Kino card? xD #
• 23:01 Inoue Mao is ♥~ enjoying all the OR songs in the movie. #

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Cayenne is always stuck in situations like this. First Sigmund, now Takeo?!

kaoko_cow, Chris and Cla came to Singapore a few days back, and on Saturday we had a mini gathering for them :D

I would write more but I have to go to bed now. Will post a summary of the day tomorrow :)

Birthday :)

決定了，睿端的稱號就是：

傳奇般的旋轉花花愛心孟獲

From 稱號產生器



HAHAHA WTF. To compare me with Meng Huo is... sacrilege! Also, wtf is 旋轉花花 for?　Ｉ　ＬＯＬｅｄ　ｓｏ　ｈａｒｄ　Ｉ　ｃａｎ＇ｔ　ｔｈｉｎｋ　ａｎｙｍｏｒｅ　ｘＤ



ETA: I just found the tracking page for China Post. It was not on the main website or on the English site =_=
http://intmail.183.com.cn/item/trace/itemTraceAction.do?action=Enter

• 00:38 Feet and neck hurt. But today was fun! I got yummy polvoron! ♥ #

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Such a sad song... (I like it though, I feel so sorry for the japanese guy... he's pretty cute too wth?!) My fave part is 1:22 when Yunho reaches out to the camera with his hand.. so dramatic! (: lol anyways.. *goes back to studying* I think this applies to one of my close friends [the song] but well.. she's too good for the guy anyways so I don't think she should feel sad about it. =)
English Lyrics :

Why did I end up falling for you?
No matter how much time has passed,
I thought that you would always be here
But you have chosen a different road

Why wasnt I able to convey to you?
My feelings that were growing everyday and night
The words begin to overflow
But I know they wont reach you now

From the first day that I met you
I felt like I knew you
And the two of us melded together so naturally

Wherever we would go, it would be together
It was so natural for you to be with me
We became adults together
But you chose a different road

Why did I end up falling for you?
No matter how much time has passed,
I thought that you would always be here (but not anymore)

Today, the day that holds a special meaning
The day that you stood with a smile of happiness
Praying to God in your beautiful appearance

With the person next to you who isnt me
The image of you receiving blessings
How could I just stand aside and watch

So why did I end up falling for you?
We cant go back to that time, or how we were (Ive thought it through)

Why wasnt I able to take your hand?
No matter how much time passes
You always shouldve been by my side
Now it will never come true

But, even though I say that I need you close to me
I just pray that you will be happy forever
No matter how lonely that makes me (or how sad)